a bit of happiness for this saturday evening.
i wish i could of been a hero,
the kind that acted upon righteousness
naturally subsiding fear
rippling through the night without thought….
But i panicked,
and sadly withered away
I wish i could have been his hero…
I really do.
for i was nothing more than a shamed lover.
now a series of damned thoughts of “What if” and “if only if”
and i wasn’t prepared for it all…
And in 100 ft of the walls
just of my twenties..
I am finally humbling the torture
In my mind and setting myself free to
Face before me.
I love you. You’re my ranger danger, most loveable- cuddle buddy, deepest heart, charmiest charming man i’ve ever met. I love you baby. Forever and always.
It’s amazing… That loving you
Could form such a sense of warmth and security… That runs deep enough to create such a blessing to us both….
I will always love you mr. Covell.
Mentally exhausted to write
to the point of
tears stain the keyboard through and through,
from the tips of my hands,
and my eyes
blink fingerprints of life’s days now before in anything but pride and shame….
Let us say,
It’s a set of mixed happenings…
Sending me into confusion….
so I contemplate to drink more coffee to bring me back from this haze,
lasting coupled hours, so high of mindful energy as almost an addict partnership needing the desire of sickening dependency,
eventually drift back
into a decaffeinated zoning,
staying home on long weekends
the cool shade under the tree on hot summer days
warm towels out of the dryer
a fresh pot of coffee
the sunshine on a stormy day
a hot bubble bath
the cold ice cream on my lips
the rain in the desert
the calm of the sea
tasting food after a long day’s…
and it was well said in the name of love… yes it was.
I think that sometimes
thought can be a little heavy on the heart,
and so every single step needed to take
seems as if a thousand lights are flashing,
and we just can’t
just can’t seem to walk in the direction that we desire….
well that is in the hindrance of our thoughts.